Having a hard time getting over that ex that you had so many good memories with? No need to worry. Dr. Etemesi is here to help. Umm…I am not really a doctor but you get the drill.
Getting over an ex can either be easy or hard, depending on how you felt about them. If we’re going to be honest, a person never truly knows how hard it will be to get over their ex, until a few days after the break-up. Come to think of it, it’s surprising how the relationships you thought wouldn’t hurt as bad if they ended, wind up hurting the most, isn’t it? But moving on doesn’t have to be hard. Simply follow these tips:
1. Hook up with someone else.
Give a chance to that person that has always wanted you and done everything to win you over. It’s as real as it gets. There’s no better way to forget an ex than to hang out with other people of the opposite S3@.x:’ and have fun with them, even if it’s for a short time. Who knows, maybe that random person will truly be the one.
2. Remind yourself of all the terrible things your ex did to you.
You might miss that person but you should also understand that you didn’t break up for no reason. Things were not cheerful day after day otherwise, the two of you would probably still be together like President Uhuru and Margaret…Remember how your ex showed you so much disrespect or hurt your feelings and you won’t feel so attached anymore.
3. Surround yourself with good friends.
Grab a few drinks, go on road trips, watch football games together etc. Just focus on forming a greater bond with your friends than ever before. You might realize that they are the ones who love you the most. There is nothing that helps more in taking your mind off an ex, than having a good time with your friends.
4. Follow the ‘no contact’ rule.
Delete the number. Do it right now. Do it fast. Have you deleted it? Okay. Let’s proceed. But wait. You still remember the number right? Now block it. Block it right now. Block that ex. Okay. You are good now. Haha. The worst thing you could possibly do to hinder the moving on process is to call up your ex, reminisce on the good times, and be sucked right into a bad yo-yo relationship that was not working for either of you to begin with.
5. Understand that this is real.
Get closure and let your ex know that this is a real break up, not just a “break”.Do not leave the door open to getting back together. If things got bad enough to break up in the first place, it is hard to imagine a scenario where things can get better instead of worse.
6. Do not leave your stuff with them for a long time then try and get it back.
Either pick your stuff immediately after the break-up or just leave it. Ifyou have left your stuff there for longer than two weeks, either leave it for good, or ask you ex to send someone to bring it to you. Don’t invite them to deliver it themselves.
7. Get rid of everything that is a reminder.
Pictures from your vacation in Diani beach? Burn them. The sweater she got you? Give it away. Do away with anything that brings back strong memories of your ex.
8. Get busy with your life.
Try and keep yourself busy and do something for yourself. Ask your boss if you can work overtime and throw yourself into your work. Find a new hobby. There are a million different things you could do to stay busy, and as the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months, before you know it, you will be ready to try out the dating scene again.
9. Avoid drinking too much.
If you want to go out one night and just drink until you can’t take anymore, I’m not stopping you. That is a lot of people’s first choice after a breakup. But when that supposedly one-time thing turns into a weekly, or worse, a nightly event, you have a whole new set of problems on your hands.
10. Reward yourself.
Take that trip you always wanted to take. Experience something exhilarating that you never would’ve done while in a relationship like bungee jumping or bike riding. After being with someone for a long time, you begin to take on their characteristics. Take a few risks, try new things, and find out who you truly are again.
11. Do not entertain your ex.
If you really want things to be over, you should give your ex a cold shoulder when they try to reach out. Don’t accept their invitation to meet or respond to their texts. They will get the message.