Things You Need To Know About Your Partner Before Marriage
Information that you probably want to find out about your partner before tying the knot. We’re not saying these things should determine whether or not you should marry this person — only that knowing them will generally put you in a good position for when you finally decide to get hitched.
We put this first because it’s so important. This should be made very clear. It’s not fair to mislead someone about whether or not you want children in your future. So be upfront and honest about how important children are to you. And If you both want kids, then how many? Would adoption be an option? Things like this must be discussed ahead of time.
Money is often cited as one of the most common things couples fight about. And when you’re married this doesn’t go away. If anything it can get worse if your finances become entwined. It’s important to know how your partner handles money and what their attitudes toward it are. It’s worth talking about whether you want to combine your finances through joint bank accounts or by filing taxes as a couple. Will your debts also be married? Money can’t buy you love — but it can mess it up.
Major life events inevitably bring people back to their families. And how people handle stressful times often goes back to their familial relationships. Having a sense of the dynamics will help you both negotiate challenging times.
Everyone gets angry and upset sometimes and all couples are bound to fight. So it helps to know how your partner reacts to being upset. Do they freak out and yell or sulk in silence? Knowing this will help ease tensions when things get heated, and it’ll just give you a sense of how to gauge their mood and adjust accordingly.
For all its splendor, marriage sometimes means foreclosing on some of the goals or dreams you have. It’s important to know what your partner doesn’t want to give up on, whether it’s traveling across Europe or going to graduate school, and how it’s likely to affect your marriage.
Sexual appetites can vary dramatically from person to person. There’s no right amount of sex in a relationship. It’s about what feels comfortable to the people in it. But if two people have very different sexual needs, this can lead to conflict and bitterness. So talk about your expectations in this department.
People tend to move around a lot more these days than a generation ago. It helps to talk about where you want to end up down the road. Does your partner see themselves in the city or in a suburb? Or do they prefer the country?
Nothing sounds less romantic than a prenup, and the decision of whether or not to sign one has caused major friction in engagements — enough, in some cases, to deep-6 the wedding. So it’s best to talk about this early and figure out how you feel about it.
As people get older, religion and spirituality often becomes more important to them. And as we all know, relgious differences can be a major source of conflict between anyone. But it doesn’t have to be. You just need to have reasonable expectations and know what you’re getting into. Are you comfortable with your partner being religious if you’re not? Or, if you like to pray and they don’t, how will that affect your life together?