Things girls will tell their boyfriend when they caught them cheating

No excuse can be made for cheating. It”s NOT beyond anyone’s control. It’s NOT a mistake. It is a personal choice. Saying it happened because something was missing, unfulfilled or anything else is a cop out. PERIOD !

When you talk about cheating in relationships, many people dwell in the stereotypical belief that cheating is only peculiar to men NOT women. This is a lie from the pit of hell. In case you don’t know, ladies also cheat as men do just that they are very careful and smart about it since they know they are in a society where ladies are castigated, humiliated and ridiculed for cheating.

Enough of my prologue. Lemme discuss the excuses given by ladies to justify cheating as a rightful act.

1. Because Your Joystick is so Small
Any dude who thinks the size of a joystick is not a prerequisite or a thing of consideration before a lady dates/marries a man, is seriously sleeping on a moving Bajaj okada. Many at times, I even get scared that my own girlfriend might also be cheating on me because of the nature of my joystick. When these ladies do not derive expected intimate satisfaction from their boyfriends with a tooth-pick like joystick, they will cheat and by the time they are caught, they will say it’s because the dude’s joystick is nothing to write home about.

2. Because You are Very Lazy in Bed
Sometime I just laugh when ladies cheat and deem their promiscuous act right, saying their boyfriends’ laziness in bed actually led them to seek skillful guys who can do it better. The truth of the matter is that many of our ladies like s*x as much as men do, but you will always see them pretending and hypocritical about it. Have you ever wondered why your girlfriend is nagging unnecessarily without a cause? It might just be because you are fond of climaxing barely two minutes after.

3. It was the work of the Devil
We all know that Nigeria is a country where people don’t take responsibility of their action or misfortunes, rather, they blame it on the devil who doesn’t even know their house address or Matric No. When ladies are caught cheating, they will lie against the devil.

4. I Didn’t Know what came over Me
This reminds me when my erstwhile friend caught his girlfriend cheating red-handed, she started crying profusely saying she did not know what got into her to have opened her legs for her gate man.

5. Because You are very Stingy
All the ladies I have dated in my life are always complaining that I should be given a PhD for stinginess. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me to give my girlfriend N100. One even told me that I should not be disappointed if I ever caught her cheating cos she could no longer cope dating a stingy dude who has the component Of Gehazi in the Bible.

6. He Molested/ Forced Me
I don’t need to explain this. We all know that an average Nigerian lady is quick to bail herself out with rape allegation the moment she’s caught cheating. Some of them will seduce you and coerce you into s*x and by the time they are caught they will lie that they were molested.

7. Because You are also Cheating on Me
They say that two wrongs don’t make a right; and I am of the opinion that the fact that your boyfriend is cheating or unfaithful to you does not mean that you should also pay him back in his own coin. Since some of them have the component of infidelity in their blood, they quickly utilize that opportunity to also cheat.

8. Because You’re not Financially Capable to Provide My Needs
When I check the amount of money some ladies spend on their hair, manicure and pedicure, it’s even more than my house rent, school fee and project fee inclusive. However, when these ladies are dating men that lack have good financial standing, they will definitely seek other species of suitable chairmen that will provide their basic needs, and by the time they are caught cheating they will say that a relationship without finance leads to cheating.

9. Because I was under the Influence of Alcohol
I just shake my head in disdain when ladies consciously bleep another dude but lie that the guy took advantage of them since they were under the influence of alcohol; therefore, they couldn’t resist him.

10. Because I can’t Keep all my eggs in a Basket
I don’t know when men became eggs that should not be put in a basket. Some ladies are in relationships yet they flirt a lot. You will hear them saying they can’t date a keep just a man because they want to be on the safe side.